The title of my blog could use a little clarification, which I’ll gladly provide. In Judaism, a name is not a random title given at a whim. It is believed that the name of a person or thing is closely related to its essence. When I was born my parents gave me two names, a secular name which most of you refer to me by, Jenna, and a Hebrew name that until recently I pretended didn’t exist. My Hebrew name sounded funny, a slight mispronunciation and my name could be confused for the word given to the space of epidermis existing between two crevices that I will not mention at this time. Besides the awkward pronunciation, my dislike of my Hebrew name stemmed mainly from the fact that I had no idea what it meant. Ganendal, a Yiddish name from the shtetl in Hungary lacking any vowels or hints of the proper pronunciation. When asking my parents about the name, the only information they could provide was that it was after my great grandma Gertrude, still a pretty far leap. I asked Rabbis, researched its etymology, and after exhausting my resources I still hadn’t made any gains on unearthing its meaning.
I took the inability to understand my name very personally. How could I go on in life without knowing my meaning, my purpose, my mission in life (yes, I am quite dramatic at times)? This compounded with being 21, about to graduate from college and having to make some real decisions about my future, made for a very overwhelming time. I felt lost, not knowing my essence or the reason for my existence was eating me alive. I had a lot invested in understanding my Hebrew name, believing it would somehow provide the clarity needed to make the next step.
So the story began unraveling during a philosophical conversation with my cousin Tvi Yoel, where many adventures begin. I explained my frustrations and anxieties about the matter. He responded by writing my name down and looking at it for a while, making very serious and contemplative faces. After some awkward silent minutes featuring me fidgeting about, Harry jumped up, clearly having a eureka moment. “Jenna, you’re name is actually composed of 3 different Hebrew words combined” he said very ominously. I felt as if I was at a doctor’s office about to be given my diagnosis. I was light-headed and nervous, it was kind of surreal. My fate was about to be handed to me on a platter and whether or not I liked it, it was my dinner; I would have to eat and digest it. Harry went on, “Gan, ng, which means garden”. Sigh of relief, for Gan was my favorite work in Hebrew school and used in every sentence I was asked to compose. “Ain, ni, meaning without and Dal, lid, poverty”. Put it all together and it makes “Garden without poverty”. Wow, I was breath taken. Although I had no idea what it meant, it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard.
Garden without Poverty is very heavy name! I am just now tapping into what it means and what I have to do to fulfill my prophecy, something I plan to meditate on this upcoming year. However I am very encouraged by the bit of information I have, it's a solid foundation to build upon. I have my suspicions that my name closely relates to another garden we speak about quite often, Gan Eden (Garden of Eden or Garden of Paradise/Everything). That analysis is another blog entry, another story, that I am no where near understanding. I guess we’ll call this a sneak preview.
The anecdote about my name marks a very pivotal moment in my life and is crucial in understanding the point of this blog entry—why the name of my blog, Fruits of Gani? The word Gani translates into My Garden (adding a hard 'e' to a word makes it possessive in Hebrew). So I named my blog Fruits of my Garden. Although I learned that my garden is not deficient or lacking in anything, I am now tasked with discovering what exactly it does contain. My hope is that during this year in Israel, my travels, and my experiences, I will uncover bits and seeds of insights, fruits that I hope to share with you, through my blog, through our friendship, through our lifetime. But it is not as if I am beginning my travels with a barren garden, all that you’ve taught and showed me are surely present in my now, blossoming and thriving under the sun of inspiration. What a blessing! With love and joy -Gani
