Shed a little light

I am struggling to digest. Struggling to digest all the donuts and potato pancakes I ate (it is customary to eat a lot of anything cooked in oil on Chanukah) and struggling to digest all the information I learned about the festival. What a beautifully symbolic holiday accompanied by a great story featuring Jew as victorious warrior, valiant strong-minded women, miraculous miracles, driedels a-spinning, candles burning low, everyone getting down on the happiness and light........ My favorite topic of discussion this year was olive oil. Let me preface the story with the fact that I love olive oil…extra virgin, first pressed, olivey oily olive oil.

So let’s talk about oil…as if it isn’t on the forefront of all your minds these days anyways with the price of barrels unsteadily increasing. The word oil in hebrew is “shamen”. Its properties are pretty unique; firstly, oil doesn’t mix with other substances. What happens when you pour oil into water? It separates. Another thing is oil’s incredible ability to penetrate. It seeps in, soaks through, and imbues itself into whatever material it comes into contact with.

Biblically, oil is also unique. It is what Moses used to inaugurate the tabernacle in the desert. It was used for anointing the kings, the only substance sacred enough to light the menorah with in the Temple (Beit Hamikdash), today we are not allowed to rub it onto our bodies during Shabbos, and even the coming of the Moshiach (Messiah) is closely related to oil since the name literarily translates to “the anointed one”. What’s the meaning of all this oiliness?

Oil is described in Kabbalah as chochmah.

(quick lesson in Kabbala: there are 10 attributes of G-d, meaning to say that the great and awesomeness of HaShem was too intense for the world to handle so through series of contractions, G-dliness was manifested into 10 character traits...3 intellectual and 7 emotional. They are the building blocks of the world and human psyche. If you’d care to learn more about Sefirot go to http://www.ucalgary.ca/~elsegal/Sefirot/Sefirot.html )

Of the 10 attributes of G-d, oil is said to be like the one called ‘Chochmah’. What is chochma? Chochma is (simply put) wisdom. But it is more than wisdom, it is the actual conception of wisdom, the seminal point, the Aha moment, like lightning that appears to emerge from nothingness. Chochma happens before the mind has a chance to start processing and understanding, because once analysis takes over the thought moves into the seferot called ‘binah’ which is the cognitive faculty. But Chochma is more primitive than Binah’s. Chochma is also the spark of G-dly wisdom with every human being. And that is what oil represents.

I am skipping around but I swear this will come together to make a point soon...trust me. Today, I also learned that unlike all other Jewish holidays, there isn’t an actual established meal that should be eaten during Chanuakah….bummer, I love ritualistic eating. Chanukah is supposed to be a spiritual holiday, focusing on something internal, the light inside of us….but we eat anyways. We eat foods saturated in oil.

All fruits and vegetables, with the exception of grapes and olives, are considered to decrease in spirituality when they are squeezed into juices or other forms. For this reason wine has a special blessing. Following this line of thinking, shouldn’t olive oil have its own blessings? But it doesn’t have its own blessing…why? The reason is because olive oil isn’t eaten alone.

And here’s the big point: Oil is ungraspable, unfathomable, unknowable. Oil is transcendence. Oil can’t be eaten alone. The only way you can digest oil is if you fry it up in a latka or in chicken, slip it into the system through a backdoor. This kind of knowledge, chochma, can’t be approached directly; it’s the deepest kind of truth, the incomprehensible kind. And this is how G-dliness needs to be understood. It can’t be completely digested.

Chanukah is about the battle between the Jewish nation and the Greeks. The Greek's never ending search for beauty and wisdom relied too strongly on human comprehension. According to the Greeks, truth was solely based on human logic, that which could be tangibly felt and grasped by the human faculties. However, the sacredness of oil is that understanding G-d and truth is beyond human intellect. The infinite truth is separate and above all else, above the natural order, yet it manages to penetrate everything.

Personally speaking, the hardest part of my journey was taking that step from human reasoning and going beyond what is externally understandable, as the Greeks saw it. Yes Socrates was a brilliant man, but he limited his understanding by limiting truth to only what a human can perceive as within bounds of reason. (To any Greeks or Greek enthusiasts, I mean no offense and do not deny there magnificent contribution to civilization, this discussion is symbolic)

This blog entry is in dedication to a friend of mine who instilled in me the love of olive oil and the importance of the never ending quest towards it. On a vacation to Spain, we spent the last day on a mission to find the purest olive oil imaginable. Exhausting hours spent going from shop to shop, inquiring and searching until lo, we found some really good stuff. We almost missed the plane back to the US. My family thought I was completely nuts when they picked me up from the airport with a suitcase in one hand and 3 gallons of olive oil in the other…but as I see it, you can never have too much of the substance, the infinite wisdom.

The Sin of Sodom

Perhaps I'm being presumptuous, but I assume that most are familiar with the scandalous biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah. It is the story in Genesis about the notoriously sinful town that had fire and brimstone rained upon it. The story left such an impression that from the city’s name, we derive many words used today. If you ask most people what the people in Sodom did that was so bad, they’ve collectively concluded that sexual deviation was the cause of the divine wrath. Many religious organizations even use this passage to support their campaigns against homosexuality and other cultures that don't conform with the 'norm'. This blog entry is to introduce another view on the matter, the way classic Jewish texts view Sodom and what the fatal sin actually was.

I was surprised to learn that the sin of Sodom was not that they were promiscuous, but rather that the inhabitants lacked any compassion for one another, they lived by the motto "what is yours is yours and what's mine is mine". This means to say that each person lived only for themselves. I'll mind my business and go about my life…and you do the same. We won't bother each other and all is well. What implications does this philosophical approach have? Growing up in the US, we are practically taught that this is an appropriate ideology for the sake of self-preservation, maintenance of our economic standing, keeping a competitive edge over another person. I dare say, it’s the very foundation of capitalism.

The people of Sodom were said to have had all the riches in the world. They ate well, they had material goods, and their land was a fertile. However they didn't share with each other. This middot (Hebrew word for 'personality trait') is not unique to the people of this ancient village, remote and lost in the distant past of biblical stories. Unfortunately, people exhibit this mentality today. Rashi, a French Commentator famous for his simple yet meaningful explanations, provides a precise definition of someone who exhibits the trait of Sodom as "they enjoy, but never lack". Meaning that a person doesn't go out of their way ever, even if doing so wouldn't cause them any loss. They don't want to see any others benefiting. To fully illustrate the concept here's an example, if you're out of town and your neighbor asks to use your driveway because their mother is in town and needs somewhere to park, and you say no, even though you lose absolutely nothing, this is Middot S’dom.

Acting with Middot S’dom was viewed and treated as a grave sin. It was even outlawed in ancient Israel during the times when the Rabbinical courts (Beit Din) had jurisdiction over the land. This means that a court could legally enforce a person to be a decent human being. If the plaintiff could prove that the defendant would suffer no loss at all for them parking in their driveway while they were away on vacation, then the courts could coerce the neighbor to allow it. Crazy right? The republicans in the United States would have a field day on this one!!! Even today in Israel, people can chose to have their case heard and litigated before either the secular courts or the Jewish court system. In the Jewish courts, Middot S’dom is still and enforceable standard.

But what does this mean to us? Think about it. Sometimes we do other people favors and are so quick to congratulate ourselves for being nice, for being moral, for doing a ‘mitzvot”. Nevertheless, according to Jewish law most of our acts of kindness are not truly acts of kindness, the are merely being a decent nice person and as we just learned, being nice is only the minimum requirement, merely complying with the law.

Acting with kindness is on a whole other level. Acting with kindness is when we go above and beyond. When we benefit not at all, and perhaps loose a little (not always financially, but perhaps in effort or time). This only happens when acts of kindness are rooted in absolutely no self gain, instead they are grounded in genuinely caring for another. Kindness is highly regarded in Jewish thought. The word in Hebrew for kindness is chesid and its one of the three pillars the world is build on. What qualifies as being chesid is elaborated on quite a bit in the Talmud. An example of ‘kindness’ being expounded upon is in last book of the Mishna (the oral tradition) which is called Ethics of Our Fathers. Ethics is a beautiful collection of good advice and parables to live by. In Chapter 5. Verse 13 it states:

There are four traits which differentiate people:

He who says, "What is mine is mine and what is yours is yours"--this is the common type

He who says, "What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine"--he is an ignorant man.

He who says, "What is mine is yours and what is yours is yours own"--he is chassid

And he who says, "What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine"--he is a wicked man

The first of the four is often called the type of Sodom because this is the character trait that ultimately leads to Sodom’s destruction. Imagine living in a world were a favor was never given, a hand was never offered, it is said that a traveler coming through Sodom would die of starvation. In our daily lives, familial relations, business transactions, in intimacy, in general…. How are we? Do we act warmly, welcomingly, are we generous with our time, thoughtful in our listening, openhanded in our efforts, considerate, compassionate….or are we just scraping by being decent? According this mishna, being polite, civilized, and courteous don’t really make the cut.

Somewhere down the line I learned that acting like a decent human being is the ultimate and we should strive for it, but perhaps we should set our markers just a little bit higher, a little higher than the letter of the law, to be kind human beings, to be Chassids.

The search for beauty

What’s up peoples! Don't worry I didn't forgot about you, rather I couldn’t bring myself to write. These past few weeks have been kinda of strange. I was having a hard time figuring out where the real me was hiding out. Long story short, a mild identity crisis was experienced and I felt it was inappropriate to write when it wasn’t coming from an authentic place, when I was having a hard time differentiating between my own thoughts and ideas from the ones being presented and taught to me here. And after spending probably too much time in my own head…Jenna stop thinking so much…I was able to come out from my internalizations with a new sense of pride and confidence about where I am, what I am doing, and where I am going.

I would be straight up lying if told you I haven't changed since leaving the US three months ago. But change is not necessarily bad, the problem started when I momentarily lost sight and then one morning I woke up, looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself. I panicked, becoming alarmed at how quickly and easily I shed the garments of myself that I so deeply identified with as being me, how quickly the opinions I had such conviction about started to change, how my views on the world began to shift. Was I becoming a brainwashed robot!!???

After about a week of intense searching…I looked everywhere, under my bed, through my personal affects, in the pile of clothes in the corner of my room, and I couldn’t find me anywhere. I know I am super forgetful, clumsy, and a bit oblivious at times, but how the heck can I excuse misplacing myself? I even tried the good old back-tracking technique; you know what I’m talking about? When you sit still, close your eyes, and think really hard about the last place you saw something before loosing it. Then suddenly (and thank G-d) I was struck with clarity…I was looking in all the wrong places for self recognition.

As it always ends up being, it was in this weeks Torah reading that I found the answers to break free from my internal dramas (mirror mirror on the wall…who is the most dramatic of them all?). This week in Va-Yetzei, Jacob meets and marries the daughters of Laban...marrying sisters was legit in antiquity. I am sure you’ve heard the story, their 12 sons became the tribes of Israel, the youngest one was Joseph, the one with the spiffy coat who ended up bringing the Jews to Egypt…etc etc, read the Bible if you want more details. The section that really spoke to me was the Torah’s description of Rachel when she enters [stage right] for the first time. It describes her as being beautiful, which at first seemed rather curious since beauty is so exterior, why would the Torah have to use a detail like this to describe a person especially in regards to their merits? Don’t we tsk tsk magazines and mainstream culture everyday for putting such an emphasis on beauty?

However the next words clarify the type of beauty being referenced here. The Torah says “Rachel was beautiful in her features and in her complexion”. At first glimpse these two adjectives seem redundant. However it is expounded that these two descriptions refer to very different standards of attractiveness. ‘Features’ refers to one’s outward appearance while ‘complexion’ refers to something more internal; a person’s charm or charisma. A good example is a doll, which can be extraordinarily beautiful with symmetrical eyes, pouty lips, trendy clothing but without life, the doll is nothing but a cold statue.

On a parallel plane, the features-focused type of beauty refers to our outward presentation, the way we express ourselves to the world. It is said that our soul is clothed in three garments: thought, speech, and action. But these three pieces of clothing are not actually US. They are merely vehicles used to express the real us and can be shed just as quickly as put on. What gives this clothing form is the passion that exists inside of us, the ‘complexion’.

When you look into someone’s face, most notably their eyes, it is the charm which shines through, their passion, their excitement, their life-force. This intangible energy is what prompts a person’s mind to start thinking and heart to start feeling. This undefinable element is the step beforehand, before anything becomes an externalization. Once we start thinking ideas and feeling emotions, they take on a form of their own. But our truest essence exists as part of us, rather than as an independent entity...this is our true self. Once we start speaking and doing, we create something that is detached and separate from us.

Ideally, both beauties work in tandem, that our passions drive the thoughts we think, the words we speak, the things we do and create. This realization gave me the ability to look past the material expressions of self. Yes my lifestyle is slightly different; yes my diet has changed, I dress more modestly, my social circle has been modified. But at the end of the day these alterations in my lifestyle have allowed for me to focus more making my garments match the internal beauty.

It’s said that man is made in the image of G-d. The more I learn, the more I trust that this is NOT a reference to the shape of our noses, our limbs, and our physical bodies. This is obviously referring to our internal form, our passions and life energy. It is this spark that is made in the likeness of G-d, our charisma that permeates our entire being and all we do in the world. And needless to say, Rachel’s beauty inspired me to see that I was simply searching for identity in all the wrong places. Me’s not lost; me is just being expressed in a different way.

May your inner charm be infused into all you do!!!

Tragedy in Mumbai

I interrupt my normally cheerful update to report the grievous incident that happened this weekend in Mumbai, India. A terrorist attack on both local and foreign civilians, including the local Chabad House, left 170 people murdered. As we try to grapple with these terrible and seemingly senseless events, let us take this opportunity to transform the darkness into light and give some charity tomorrow...whether it be through money or just by being there and offering emotional support for somebody.

Kodak moments

Apologizes for the lack of pictures, my camera was stolen when I was traveling through Seville, Spain (long story that ended with me bathing in the a Starbucks bathroom sink) but anyways, I have compiled some pictures from the women on my program..

Waterfall in Ein Gedi. Look at the sopping lush moss.

An ancient mikvah (ceremonial bathhouse) from the time of the Second Temple. You enter the mikvah on one side, demonstrated by girl in gray sweatshirt, and emerge clean in order to enter the temple to give a sacrifice during the three annual festivals.

A Shabbos spent in Ramat Beit Shemesh with Rebbetzin Chinn. She taught me the hebrew alphabet when I was 9 years old and B''H we were reunited in Israel.

The Henna of my Yeminite girlfriend who is getting married in two weeks. Mazel Tov Zipporah! First you put the Henna in the flowered carrier, parade around singing arabic festival songs and waiving candles (definitely a major fire hazzard) to honor the bride.
then......

You dance for hours to the drumming of some incredibly talented and holy Yemenite Women, breaking only to eat traditional Yemenite delicacies baked specially for the occasion.

Finally once the wax from the candles melt into the henna, everyone takes turns painting it onto the bride-to-be.

The story behind the tradition of the Henna is that the plant is used as a metaphor for the relationship between bride to her groom. In the olden days, henna was grown as a hedgerow around vineyards to hold soil against wind erosion. A henna hedge, with its dense thorny branches, protected vulnerable and valuable crops such as grape vineyards from animals. The hedge also had clusters of fragrant flowers. Henna is symbolic of a "beloved", who defends, shelters, and delights her lover. How romantic.

Even though I am not of the Sephardi tradition, I think a tribal drum circle and henna painting is the most appropriate of ways to celebrate a wedding, so I think I'll have one one day too....lamma lo (why not?)

Don't Worry, Be Happy

It’s been said that I am in Israel “searching for myself” but truth-be-told I’ve already been found. I am a product of mine and your making (since everyone of you has inevitable left an imprint on my being) and now it’s only a matter of identifying the correct contexts for me to safely come out and play. These days I have been finding myself quite a bit, when I am not studying in Mayanot, I can be found in the used-book store down the street, in the market place buying strange spices to sprinkle on my dinner, purchasing soaps made with calendula at the local craft vendors, or hanging out with laid back hippy Jews drinking Hoegarden on tap at the underground Jerusalem reggae scene. Jerusalem is beginning to become my town. I know the shortcuts, where to pick herbs to put in my tea, I run into friends walking down the street, and I can give tourist directions when they ask…sometimes.

I would really really really like to write about Chassidus. Thus far I have put it off because it seems like such a daunting task but it’s critical that I share because it’s a big part of why I am here. Most of you are familiar with testaments of Jewish faith… belief in One G-d, not eating milk and meat together, keeping Shabbos, etc etc prohibitions that seem to never end…. but come’on guys, there is obviously something deeper going on here, something that triggered me to drastically change my life, perspectives, and destination. I will try to explain it to you, and hopefully G-d will bless me with the ability to articulate it. If not, this entry can serve to benchmark my level of comprehension that I hope to achieve by the end of there year…

Disclaimer: I excuse anyone from reading this blog if discussions of the esoteric and transient don’t interest or resonate with you, no pressure, there are many faces to the Torah, and not every soul connects in the same ways. But for me, besides the over-analyzing lawyer and practical business woman persona I sometimes take on; Chassidus connects to the lover; die-hard romantic, and philosopher within me.

Chassidus is a school of thought within Judaism whose function is to reveal the unity of G-d. No small task, but quite essential if you think about it. Revealing G-dliness at first seems like a completely unattainable endeavor … Where does one even begin? I suppose the first part is to understand Why? Why do we need to reveal G-d? Can’t we just think to ourselves “G-d lives in the Heavens and at times He’ll peak down from the clouds and answer our prayers”. No! This thought process is not conducive to internalizing the concept of G-d. Its too disconnected. The reason we want to reveal the unity of G-d is because we should LOVE Him and how can we possibly love a concept that we have no idea about? How was we love something we can’t relate to? That we have no connection with? How can we love something that we can’t fathom? Faith is important however it is not enough to nurture feelings of true love. Chassidus attempts to bridge this gap, to make the idea of G-d so completely palpable that we can feel in our lives at every second in order that we become keenly aware that G-d is everywhere, in everything, and inside of each of us. And in turn, we actively love and seek G-d.

Chassidus employs many techniques to make the concept of the Unity of G-d into something concrete and understandable, such as meditation, visualization, celebration, and appreciation of nature. These methods enable us to form a more real and personal relationship with Gd so we can love and pray in a meaningful way to “You- the Holy One Blessed Be He” and actually feel that we are addressing the Creator.

Lucky for us, finding G-d in everything is easy since the world was created so that we, mere mortal human beings, can experience and revel in the Light of G-d just by tuning in. In Kabbala, Gd is referred to as the Divine Light. Light is a very fitting metaphor for G-dliness since it isn’t tangible but we can still experience it. It fills space, permeates, exposes, and it is generated by a source but can become disconnected and sustain itself (ok physics majors…go to town on that statement..but remember it’s just a metaphor). Light stands for the Unity of G-d. Accordingly, darkness is then the opposite of unity, which is expressed as separateness. When we get stuck in details and loose touch with a bigger idea, when we focus on ourselves rather than the higher goal -- this is the opposite of unity and results in darkness.

As an example, think of your bodies, think of a sickness. What happens when part of you stops functioning in unison with the rest thereby preventing your body from achieving the common goal (which is to live a healthy life)? In a unified body, everything is in sync. The body is a microcosm for this much larger idea. Within the body we have a lot of different things going on, our hearts are pumping, our minds are reeling, our feet are moving, and our white blood cells are fighting. There is a lot of multiplicity happening BUT they all work together to express one thing.

When we realize that all the variety and differences in this world…from race to religion, from tree to frog, are all working towards a common goal and don’t actually contradict each other, then the light can be revealed. Anything can become a vehicle to separate us from each other and the world -- religion, ideologies, clothing, food, etc. if we get stuck in the details versus seeing the big picture. However we can instead function like a flashlight in order to shed light on the common denominator and consider for a second what are we all working towards here?

They say that when you get angry you loose touch with reality. You get so stuck in the details, in your moment, in your emotions, that you become disconnected from the world. You experience darkness. Following this line of thinking, Chassidus teaches that the only way to be a flashlight, shedding light on the darkness and experience the unity in all the seemingly disconnected ideas, is to Be Happy. Real Happiness is being connected with the true Unity of Gd, being beyond the details of the world, beyond yourself, your ego, and your man-made identity. When you can see the common denominator, when you can see positivity in everything…what you are really seeing is the G-dly spark. There are many people who are fortunate enough to have discovered little secret of happiness through their own deductions, those whose wisdom is rooted in the ancient soul residing within them. Happiness, it seems like such an oversimplification, but it’s truly profound. So let us elevate all the darkness around us and let the Light of G-d shine out, illuminating the world and others.

This is not the point I wanted to get to in this blog entry…I just typed and this is where it took us. But reading through, it doesn’t seem like a very bad point at all. Employing Happiness as a tool to seeing and experiencing G-dliness! Let us try this week to step out of ourselves in order that we can get in touch with the bigger picture instead of the small details of ourselves and our differences. Next week, G-d willing, I want to explain the point I was hoping to get to now…showing that although our souls are nice, the point of existence is to eat cake.

But until then…Be the light that disperses the darkness.

Keepin' it Real

Four years of college, many an internship, party-throwing, and legitimate work experience has only partially prepared me for the realest job: Shabbos preparation. This past week was an in-Shabbos…what this means is that we stay at our school and make our own meals and festivities. Sounds simple, but it’s actually quite (and by quite I mean extraordinarily) complicated. Three meals, thirty hungry women with high standards and sophisticated palettes, and a very broad prohibition from doing any work at all once the holiday begins = a very big challenge. As you all know me…overly ambitious Jenna…I volunteered myself for the slaughter, to manage the cooking of the Shabbos food. Of course meted with serious trials such an oven whose temperature doesn’t adjust and getting locked out of the kitchen 5 minutes before candle lighting with all the food inside, I am glad to report that it was mission success: we gorged ourselves on food, we heard some deep words of Torah, and sang songs until our voices were reported missing.

I figure you guys would like some more information about my program since until now I’ve been providing little more than flowery anecdotes. So here’s the 411. The program that I chose to attend is wonderful and I wouldn’t want to be in any other learning institute. Besides knowing this to be true in my heart, it is reconfirmed every week when tons of women from other programs come to Mayanot to attend the open-to-the-public lecture on Chassidut. The learning I do is a perfect balance between in-depth textual studies (the Torah, Mishna, Gemara, etc), Halacha (the dry law), and Chassidus (the inner-essence of Judaism). The teachers are also incredibly intellectual and assessable. What I like most about the learning is that they don’t just sit us down and tell us the rules about Judaism, they teach the meanings and arguments for and against each law, mitzvoth, practice and tradition. We have the room to fight, delve, and understand versus taking it at face-value. Apparently this is quite revolutionary for a women’s yeshiva, but I personally couldn’t have it any other way.

However the icing on the cake at Mayanot is the women I am learning with. This program was created for the Baal Teshuva, the Jew who chooses a more observant life style later in life versus growing up that way. The key word here is “Chooses”. The self-realized, educated, empowered woman thing completely defines the vibes of this institution. There is no coercion, no pressure, no conformity. These women are so deeply spiritual and aware of their beings; their purpose; their life’s meaning, it is utterly inspiring. I sleep so little because the learning never ends, even out of the classroom we are up talking until the break of dawn discussing personal transformation, G-d’s omnipotence and manifestations, life, trials, how we ended up here, and what the final redemption looks like…is the messiah an actual being or is it a state of revelation that the whole world experience at once?

It’s also important to note how real these women are. They are from this world versus growing up in a sheltered traditionally orthodox household (of course there is something to be said for those who have, it’s also an admirable path) but the point is, these women infuse a whole new dimension into Torah learning since they relate it to the world at large. Only in a Baal Teshuva program do things like this come up: The other day in my Talmud class I was learning with my Chavrusa (learning partner) about a concept called Hova. Suddenly she stops and looks at me, “Didn’t JayZ sing a song about that?” or when we are singing a traditional song and one of the women yells out “REMIX” and starts breaking it down with a beatbox while the others proceed to get low. Or like when we are talking about Kabbala and some deeply mystical concepts and someone nudges me saying “Wow, I can’t believe we are talking about this and we aren’t on mushrooms”. There isn’t a need to forget who we are or where we came from. It isn’t about cutting off the circulation to parts of us we’d like to forget or disown, or trying to fit into some mold, or go down a specific route. These woman are not trying to change their beings, rather, they are using Judaism to reveal their true essence. Through Chassidus and teaching of the Tanya, we are learning practical tools to interact with ourselves and each other, gaining the clarity to discern G-dliness in this world (which lo and behold, can be found everywhere). This weeks Torah portion was about Abraham leaving his past world, his previous notions, his land and following G-d. It is called Lech Lecha which is translated to mean “Go into yourself” and that is what Mayanot is all about.

This is the first year of the Mayanot Woman’s Programs existence, and I have to tip my hat to them because of their incredible achievement. In theory Mayanot sounded too good to be true, how they transformed the idea into actuality is amazing: it’s a completely open learning environment striving for both intellectual and spiritual pursuits in Judaism. I am so proud to have witnessed it come to life, to have helped pioneer it.

BTW, since this is my blog it is my perogative to insert my political agenda and I know this is a contentious topic especially in the Jewish community, but there’s no surprise at where I hold on the matter…Congratulations on the election! I am so proud to be an American. Go Obama. Yes we can.

Short Essays

The other day we had a writing workshop and the theme was recalling our Jewish experiences while growing up. I wrote two short essays that I’d like to share.

Going to Shul with Grandma

“I’ll meet you there, you know where our seats are” said my grandma as she walked past our driveway (she’s my next door neighbor) en route to Hillcrest. The shul down the block is where she was off to. Member of the sisterhood, tzaddaka giver, and most notable voice in the congregation, Shirley Gilman Domber was on her way. Her hand tailored (by her own hands) skirt swinging back and forth as she strut down the street in Queens; although her Brooklyn swagger loudly proclaims where her loyalties lie. My grandma, head of the family, brisket maker extraordinaire, definition of resourceful, witty, too outspoken, outrageous, blue eye shadow wearing, salsa dancing, yamaka knitting, picture taking, chupa making, secret keeping, advice giving grandma holds her arms open and we all fit in them…although she isn’t really the touchy type. “Don’t give me kisses, you know I don’t like that stuff” she says. I arrive at the synagogue and find her sitting in her aisle, sucking on a hard candy because it soothes her throat and doesn’t count as food during the fasts. She has her siddur open but doesn’t need to look down until the Chazzan starts singing her song. “Oh I love this one” she’d proclaim as she shmears a finger on her pink lipstick and marks the page for future reference. Then she sings, louder than everyone else and about two beats slower then the rest. Her eyes are closed, her body is swaying. I stare, completely transfixed by her magnificent being.

The Yichud Room

When I was young my family attended a synagogue called Gamilas Chesed in Pittsburgh, Pa. It was the most beautiful House of Prayer I have ever seen, even to this day. It had blue stained-glass windows and an ark-shaped ceiling, casting a sapphirey glow on all faces of the inhabitants. When you entered the room it was as if entering another realm, you’d think the laws of gravity weren’t applicable there. Perhaps now that I am older, can actually read Hebrew, and have developed an appreciation for the words of prayer, I would be able to sit in that room, basking in the majestic royal blue while pouring out my soul. But as a young child, being there was absolutely unbearable. There I sat, swinging my legs that didn’t quite reach the floor, my ruffled socks covering my mary-jane rocking feet, wearing a fluffy itchy dress and my haired brushed back so tightly, my eyes changed shape….uch. My younger sister and I would stealthy sneak out of the room---to use the potty for the 15^th time--- and run across the reception hall where many a Kiddush was eaten. The pitter patter of our shoes smacked the linoleum, echoing throughout the room, until we reached the secret door. We’d exchange knowing looks and race in because whoever got there first would get to sit in the chair and be the honored cala (bride). The bridal chamber was a small room replete with ribbons, feathery couches, baskets of pearls and ribbon, cloth flowers, and best of all, a glass desk with a huge mirror, undoubtedly the place the bride sat as her friends and family fawned over her. The winner was whoever made it to the chair first, while the other sister would immediately fall into step pinning ribbon to the cala’s dress, tying flowers into her hair, applying lipstick to her mouth saying “oh darling, are you sure you’re ready to go through with this”.

Excuse me, I’d like to share some words

As I read this weeks Torah portion, the story of Noah’s Flood, it is pouring rain outside. I am touched by how relevant and alive these words still are, just as they were hundreds of years ago, last year, and yesterday. Many perceive the Jews to be a people a scripture, a scripture that is outdated, remote, overly wordy, and nonsensical that has been transcribed onto very heavy scrolls. Meanwhile the people of this scripture see it as a life line, the breathing beating essence of G-d. How can such a discrepancy exist? Although it is not my job to defend G-d’s existence to mankind (we should really be defending our right to exist to G-d) I am going to attempt to paint a picture of how powerful the Torah is and how it can be used as a tool to improve our lives, offering comfort and inspiration to all who take a chance and dive into its waters.

For those unfamiliar with the tradition, each Saturday morning the Torah is taken out and read to and by the congregation. The Torah is broken up so that there is a chapter each week. During the holiday of Simchas Torah (the holiday I mentioned when we dance with the Torah), we finish the Torah and start over. Right now we are at the very beginning, reading the well known Book of Genesis. To start at the beginning gives us unique opportunity (in the realm of this blog) to take a new approach to the scripture. Plus, the first book of Torah has the best stories! Last week we opened the Torah and read about how the world was created (a very contentious topic that -G-d willing- I will be brave enough to touch on one day) how man was created, and how within two paragraphs of being created, man was already screwing around and getting thrown out of the Garden of Eden. This week we read about the story of Noah and the flood.

It is said by Rabbi Nachman that every story in the Torah is about you and I. Each and every single one of us can be in found there. It is kind of like Where’s Waldo, except YOU are wearing the red striped shirt. Every time we revisit a story, we are in a different place in our lives, we are different people, and therefore our position in the picture changes, the meaning changes, the lessons we derive changes. Sometimes it is difficult to find where and how a person connects to a section in Torah, but the chapter on Noah is a perfect way to demonstrate the concept since there is so much simultaneously occurring.

The beauty of the place I am currently in (a Jewish learning institute in Israel) is that words of Torah never stop; making it easy to find the story we connect to. On the streets, late at night, in the classroom, over dinner, the words keep flowing. The words are meant to provide a life lesson, provoke thoughts, sustain us in the upcoming week, and connect us to our past. I’d like to share some of the parcels of wisdom I have learned about Noah’s Flood through a scene and dialogue that commonly occurs at the dinner table (eating is almost as important a custom in Judaism as sharing words)

** None of these ideas are original to me (although I have infused them with my meanings and interpretations). Since I can’t properly cite them, I’d like to make it 100% clear that the sages, Rabbinic commentators, my teachers, my classmates, etc have shared these incites and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to share them with you.

The are four ways to read and understand the Torah. Using the acronym PaRDes we learn these ways are:
1. Peshat – the plain and simple meaning
2. Remez – allegorical meaning beyond the literal sense
3. Derash – metaphorical meaning
4. Sod- hidden, mystical meaning
See if you can identify what level of meaning each of the stories below are.

A typical dinner time conversation goes as follows:

Eater #1: “Why was the world utterly destroyed in the story of Noah and not in the story of the Tower of Babel? Because in the Noah, people were sinning against each other through robbery and violence while in the story of Babel, love prevailed”

Eater #2: For many years I was troubled by the fact I had to work all day rather than study Torah. From Parsha Noah we learn that Noah’s Flood it is analogous for the material world we exist in. The waters represent making a living. We have to work in order to survive and provide for our families. In Aramaic the word Noah means comforting, therefore should have comfort in the world below (physical) and above (spiritual). However we can not become consumed by water below instead we must use it to intensify our spiritual being. We must stay afloat! Working in the world is not a spiritual blemish as long as we don’t become drowned by it. Instead, the submersion in the material world should fan our love and raise our soul to a higher stature. We do this by remembering to stay true to ourselves and not become completely invested in our work. This Torah portion teaches us, “come into my ark, that is the only way you’ll survive the flood”. We should work with our external beings, our arms and legs, in the waters below while reserving our hearts for more important things.

Everyone in unison: Skoyach (Yiddish expression for “right on”)

Eater # 3: The Torah says Noah was a righteous man in his generation, why does it say this?
This explanation explains Noah's shortcomings. Even though he was considered a great man, he was only righteous for own self interest. When G-d tells Noah his plan to destroy the world, Noah doesn’t ask G-d to reconsider nor does Noah reach out to the people around him. It is said that he spent 120 years building the ark and in that time he didn’t convince anyone else around to change their ways nor did he invite anyone else aboard. At the end of the story of Noah plants a vineyard, gets drunk, and ruins himself because he realized that he didn’t save anyone but his family and could not face his own failure. From this we learn that we should go into the Ark, but we must not be selfish about it, we must reach out to the world and bring them in too.

Eater #4: I’d like to follow up on that idea. I once read a drash (story) that said the soul of Noah was reincarnated as Moses in order to fix the bad karma generated by Noah’s lack of outreach. Just as Noah doesn’t protest for mankind, Moses pleads to G-d after the incident with Golden Calf saying, “If you destroy the people, I want you to erase my name from your book”.

Eater #5: In Likutei Sichos it points out that when Noah comes off the ark, the first thing he does is plant a vineyard. In the Torah it says:

“Noach, a master of the soil, degraded himself by planting a vineyard. He drank the wine, became drunk, and uncovered himself in his tent. Cham and his son Cana’an (grandson of Noach) looked at his father’s nakedness and assaulted him. Cham publicly related the incident to his two brothers, Sheim and Yafes. Shem and Yafes took a garment and placed it on both of their shoulders. They walked backwards, and covered their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned backwards, so they did not see their father’s nakedness”.

Eater #5 continues: “Their faces were turned backwards, so they did not see their father’s nakedness”. Why is this mentioned twice? Isn’t it enough to say “their faces were turned backwards? The Baal Shem Tov teaches us that when a person sees another one doing an inappropriate act, there are two possible ways too react.
a) You can see the flaw in that person and be disgusted by the act.
b) You can see the action they are doing and think how can I help them improve themselves in this area?
One may ask another question. Why would G-d show us other people’s flaws?
This is answered by saying that G-d is not showing us other people’s bad habits. Rather what one sees is a mirror image of things that he, himself, is struggling with and needs to improve on. Cham took the first approach. He “assaulted his father” by judging him and focusing on the inappropriateness of the situation. This was a personal struggle that Cham was going through. Thus he recognized the flaws in his father’s actions. On the other hand, Shem and Yafes “did not see their father’s nakedness” they did not become disgusted at what happened. They simply thought of how they could help fix the problem. So when the verse repeats itself it is emphasizing that they did not see the flaws in their father’s nakedness rather they were trying to help him. The lesson one can take from this is clear. A person should be aware that if they are judging a friend, it is because of the fact that in this particular area he has not completely “perfected” himself. Instead you should be pure in thought and judgment, seeing that your fellow friend is in need of help. May we all be able to tell the difference between the two approaches and see the good in our fellow friends!

Everyone in unison: L’Chayam (Yiddish way to cheers, means “To Life”


The End! (Time to bench)

This exercise was my attempt to demonstrate the breadth and width of the Torah and its ability to connect with our lives today, each person relates to a different point. The Torah is not foreign and it is completely accessabl, no matter where we are in life and what we are doing. I’d like to point out that the Hebrew word for ark used in the story of Noah is “tevah”. Tevah can also be translated into the word “word”. We should all come into the ark, come into the words, and find the meanings we need to grow.

(Apologies to those who read my blog and don’t subscribe to the Jewish faith. My attempt is not to proselytize or alienate. I truly believe that these sparks of wisdom are relevant to all members of the human race. Don’t we all yearn to be connected with the world and each other? Don’t we all yearn to improve our lives and the world? Don’t we all search for meaning?)

And it don't stop

.....and just when I think all the fun is over and I publish the post, I am suddenly deafened by the sound of loud music and blinded by blinking lights. I look out the window and see out of nowhere, a spontaneous parade. What is the occasion? A Torah has been completed and is being delivered to a nearby synagogue. The entire community suddenly comes running out of their homes in order to join the procession, dancing and holding torches as traffic is stopped to let the parade pass. Is this real life?

A Temportary Dwelling Place

The most solemn day of the Jewish Year, Yom Kippur, ended with a light meal to break the twenty-six hour fast. Then, within minutes, as if in a synchronized dance, the Country of Israel slid from its state of national reflection and prayers into a state of celebration. Sukkot had arrived! Overnight Jerusalem transformed into Sukkot and it isn’t just a feeling. It’s a very tangible transformation because it requires that each household build a temporary dwelling place called a Sukkah (in layman’s terms: a hut) outside of their home. The edifice must conform to certain standards in order to be considered a kosher sukkah, if you are interested and happen to be a mathematical genius; I can direct you to the Mishna that outlines the requirements. If not, you’ll have to be content with my explanation: a sukkah must have 2.5 walls that can be made out of almost any material. The important part is the ceiling,
called the Sko’ch. The sko’ch must be made out of organic material that is detached from the ground (palms or bamboo shoots are commonly used materials) and the sko’ch must allow the moon and stars to shine through. Got it?

Growing up, the holiday of Sukkot never meant very much to me. It wasn’t important like the Jewish New Year, I didn’t get presents, and it was not an excused absence from class. However in Israel, celebrating the seven day festival of Sukkot is a very serious matter. You must be serious about enjoying yourself otherwise you are not properly observing the holiday. In other words, it is a commandment, a mitzvot, that you celebrate Sukkot and anything that contributes to the joy…food, drink, music, and dancing (within reason of course) must be indulged in. Additionally, for these seven days it is proper that you do everything in a sukkah, eat all your meals, entertain guests, study, chill, party, and even sleep in your sukkah. As you can imagine, it creates quite a social environment, everyone is just hanging out, busy in their commemorating. It is traditional to invite anyone you can into your sukkah, the more guests; the better. It is said that during Sukkot, we have access to the wellsprings of joy that will sustain us for the upcoming year. The more we enjoy Sukkot the better our year will be..another marvelous concept!!!!

My Sukkot, as ordained to be, was beyond enjoyable... I am trying to think of a more powerful term to encapsulate my experience, how about exuberant? It all began when a close friend of mine invited me to Sfat to meet her fiancé and to do some hiking. We were only meant to go for a day, but as I packed for the day trip a divine inspiration came over me and I packed a week worth of clothing. I was anxious to see Sfat, it is a very spiritual town, the birthplace of Kabbala, and is situated on the top of a beautiful mountain. I had been told by many people that if I loved Ithaca, Sfat was the town for me. I needed to investigate the scene, see what the lore was all about.

The mystical tradition of Sfat began during the 15th century Spanish reconquista, forcing many prominent Spanish Jews, such as the Arizal, to leave and seek refuge in this mountaintop town. Another migration to Sfat occurred in the early 21st century when a bunch fed-up progressive, Jewish renewal liberals from California moved to Sfat as well, creating a vibrant neighborhood set in an ancient town. Nature, art, and spirituality swirl together like the purple clouds at sunset. It’s a place where the sky and the earth seem to meet. A place where ancient mysticism meld with forward-thinking hippies. A place where macrobiotics, water conservation, and recycling are valued as much as the preservation of mystic traditions founded there. Yes, it was like Ithaca, only a Jewish version. Needless to say, I didn’t leave Sfat after a day. In fact, I moved in for a while. I laid my bag, my head, and my heart and took the deepest breath I had taken since watching my last Ithaca sunset on top of my favorite lookout. There are four holy cities designated in Israel and they correspond to the natural elements. Jerusalem is fire, Tiberius is water, Hebron is earth, and Sfat is air. I didn’t realize how desperately I need that breath of air until my lungs were about to burst open from that inhalation atop the mountain of Sfat.

I was put in touch with an incredible couple, the Goldfarbs, who were kind enough to take me in during my sojourn in Sfat. They were very much my speed; their sukkah’s walls were made from tapestries. They gave me the keys to their Kabbala cave and introduced me to musicians, healers, artists and writers galore. It was nice to meet so many well rounded Jews, rooted in their traditions but hands dirty from participation in the world.

Sfat was magical and musical. There were concerts every night to celebrate the festival of Sukkot…the best evening concert I saw was the Kabbala Reggae band ;) But what took the cake was the musical performance I was fortunate enough to take part in each morning. During the week of Sukkot it is traditional to recite special prayers during the morning services, called Hallel. Usually Hallel is said quickly and isn’t very exciting. However, in a tiny synagogue named Beirav hidden in the alleys in Sfat something very special happened each morning at about 7:30 am. The Rabbi would indicate it was time for Hallel and everyone around would reach into their bags and suddenly guitars, tambourines, drums, flutes, violins, and instruments I have never even seem before appeared. At my Bat-Mitzvah I read a psalm about praising G-d with music but during these mornings, I actually praised G-d with music.

Then came Shabbos in Sfat spent with four close friends of mine. HaShem must have conspired to bring us together since the group, whose travels were all independently motivated, ended up breaking bread inside a sukkah which was lent to us by the local pizzeria in Sfat. The sukkah, situated at the very top of the mountain, overlooked the valley and endless mountain range. Since it was on the main road we had random guests wander past our sukkah and curiously peak in. Of course we invited them to sit, drink some wine, and join us in song. Over the course of Shabbos we were visited by many, most notably the 14th generational Sfatian and the minister of Tourism in Northern Israel who said he’d donate us land to begin a Kibbutz. As the sun began its departure, we walked up to the tippy-top of the mountain which had been transformed into a well-maintained public park. At the foot of the final ascent we noticed the opening to a cave. Of course we went in and after stumbling around in the pitch black we found a huge dome shaped room with the craziest acoustics. A finger snap would echo for minutes. And so we did what anyone in our situation would do; we chanted and sang. We fell out of the cave, the alternative universe we were fortunate enough to enter for a while just in time to watch the most magnificent sun set I have ever seen. We sat, silent and breath-taken, stolen by the city of air.

Sunday morning came and I thought I would head back to Jerusalem. After being in Sfat for five days, my friends at school were getting worried and calling me. Unfortunately for them, my phone had died. As I packed my bag, my hosts informed me they were heading to the Modi’im Moshav to attend the yearly Sukkot Fair. She the founder of T’ai Chi of the Hebrew Letter Alphabet (http://www.otiyot.com/index.htm), He a writer and poet, were heading to the fair to sell their goods at the craft booths. Visiting the Modiim was something I really wanted to do and suddenly the perfect opportunity presented itself. So I put off my return a little longer and jumped in the car. (The Modiim Moshav is a religious communal settlement that was founded in the 60’s by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, a revolutionary who created his own Jewish movement combining the love found in Hassidus and music…if you are interested, I suggest you read more, or better yet, seek out a Carlebach-inspired synagogue near you) The festival was awesome and I met even more wonderful people and heard awesome music.

Monday I went back to Jerusalem just in time. It was the last day of Sukkot. My crazy adventure was only the prelude to the ultimate culmination, Simchas Torah. Simchas Torah marks the end of the reading cycle of the Torah and the beginning of the new. It is on this holiday that we celebrate having the Torah in our life and so for forty-eight hours it is imperative to not stop dancing and singing…with the Torah. Swirling skirts, shaking floors, voices singing at the top of their lungs. Sheer rejoicing. I have never seen such happiness. It was so beautiful to be a part of it. Spending the month of Tishrei in Israel is a truly poignant and unique experience, moving through the breadth of the human experience from awe, fear, joy, love and inspiration.

My final thoughts on Sukkot as I sadly watch everyone disassemble theirs and return to their houses:
I think it is absolutely brilliant, as children, most of us spent hours (at least me and my sister did) building forts and tents out of dining rooms chairs, couches, and all the extra comforters laying about. We played inside them until our parents begged up to dismantle it so they could sit at the table for dinner. Now here, we have a holiday that caters to the inner child in everyone, requiring us to leave our home and build a tent, to play in it. However, this explanation for the holiday is too whimsical. There are many reasons we celebrate Sukkot, and these reasons aren’t solely because G-d wants us to play. The most beautiful explanation I heard is as follows: The sukkot is an analogy for our soul. Our soul’s home is in heaven but they are sent down to earth to reside within our bodies temporarily. At the end of our lives, our soul must return to its permanent home, our bodies are merely a sukkah. What we learn from this holiday is how our souls are meant to spend their short-termed residence in this world…they are meant to enjoy every second of it. To celebrate, dance, and revel in the Festival of Life.

What is going on?

Funniest caption contest...go

My Garden

I live in an area called Katamon. Its about a twenty minute New-York-City-paced walk south from Old City Jerusalem. This neighborhood is residential with white stone houses and huge gardens; gardens overflowing with succulents, palm trees, and the most deliciously fragrant flowers; gardens that more closely resemble tropical forests rather than manicured front lawns; gardens similar to the meadow Alice finds herself wandering through in Wonderland. Among the vegetation, one can find the five fruits of Israel in all their glory, basking in the Mediterranean sun. Over ripened pomegranates dripping bloody juice, staining the underbrush, olives and grapes in bunches so large the trees are developing a lean, dates and figs crystallized from the saturation of their own sugar. How can this be? How come all these plants, fruits, and flowers aren’t tended to? Pruned? Eaten? Or Harvested?

The answer, which sounds absolutely bizarre, archaic, and economically reckless, is that this past year was a Shmita year. Shmita is an event that occurs every seven years in the Land of Israel and literally means a Sabbatical year, kind of like a Shabbos for the trees. During this time, no one can gain or profit from the land. Just like everything I have been learning, there are a lot of reasons behind keeping Shmita, I'll provide two. The face value of shmita are the agricultural benefits allowing the soil to regenerate its nutrients. On a deeper plane, it represents putting your faith into G-d’s hands and trusting that sustenance will be provided. Interestingly, it always rains early in the season during Shmita (which is no small deal since Israel is a desert, in fact praying for rain is an integral part of the blessings a Jew makes every day). The Shmita officially ended with the celebration of the New Year, Rosh Hashana, last week. I feel very fortunate to have witnessed it at its pinnacle. The untamed, uncultivated gardens are sown into my memory.

On the topics of wildly untamed gardens, I have been given an incredible opportunity this past week. Allow me to preface this story by introducing the concept of “Hashgacha Protis”. Think back through your life. Just try and identify all the times you've encountered a mind-blowing coincidences or event that you just know was divinely ordained. Times that made you believe, if even for a split second, that everything happens for a reason, that there is a bigger picture, that you are a part of the divine comedy starring your favorite actors: you and the universe. Explaining Hashgacha is extremely difficult however the sages taught us that stories are usually the best way to illustrate a concept.

Here's the story:
Last week I was confronted by my body who sternly told me that I needed to improve my lifestyle. I went from living a very healthy lifestyle (eating organic foods, walking for miles, doing yoga) to sitting in a classroom from 7 AM to 9 PM breaking only to eat dodgy food from a miscellaneous catering company, not to mention that there is a bottomless jar of chocolate spread (how dare they put one of those in a building with thirty women!!!) sitting on the table that taunts me in my sleep. I give in to the chocolate, convincing myself it’s not so bad since I am dipping carrots. Nevertheless, my body was desperately screaming for me to find a balance, to bring some activity into my life. My body even started threatening me with "you're going to mentally burn out" "you're getting fat" "you'll miss the most beautiful season in Israel". As I am debating in my head, the head of the school was debating about what to do with all the gardens surrounding are campus now that the shmita is over. Somehow the Rabbi and others on the program got the notion that I am miss mother earth, which is actually quite funny since anyone can attest that my luck with plants is very little. That I tend to overlove them, resulting in their untimely death. That my green thumb is actually a sickly yellow. But nevertheless, someone planted this notion in their heads and I was asked to take charge of the landscaping on campus. I accepted the position. I love the gardens that surround my school. Every morning we have an hour for prayers and meditations which I spend in the middle of a purple lilac bush, eyeing the pomegranates ominously swinging over my head, watching the six foot rose bush's bulbs burst open. This is incredibly excited. I am hoping to hone my gardening skills. This also means that I’ll have an obligation to be outside toiling in the land of Israel. Now I really have gani (refer back to 1st blog entry)!!! Hashgacha Protis.

Anyways, I had a lot more to tell you about…my roommates, my classes, the holidays in Jerusalem, the temple down the block that resembles a hippie commune. But I’ve got to run, my cousin Harry and his wife, Rachel, just got to town (which means my suitcase is finally here) and Yom Kippur starts tomorrow which is followed by Sukkot, an awesome holiday that entails building huts and making parties in them (a grave oversimplification but worth noting).

With Love

Of eating dog's liver

Since arriving in Israel I have processed an incredible amount of information. It's truly amazing what the mind is capable of doing. At the school I am studying at, Mayanot, there are two learning tracks available and I, a complete masochist, chose the Yeshiva track. I'm admittedly not learned enough to be in this classroom and I'm surprised they let me in, but G-d willing I will be able to rise to the occasion. In a sink or swim situation, as Darwin told us and as my own social observations have convinced me, we must do one or the other, sink or swim. Luckily, my earliest childhood memory was being thrown into a body of water by my father who said "Swim"…and so at the moment I am desperately treading (but in a good way).

So what the heck does one do when they are "Studying in Yeshiva?...this is the million dollar question that I once pondered over when first hearing the concept of people spending years of their life studying at these places. Even scarier, a person can study Torah for the rest of their lives and never be finished, and still have more to study. So this blog entry is my attempt to explain what I am in fact doing here…besides eating falafel.

The Yeshiva track means that we are translating, studying, analyzing and deriving meaning from Jewish texts. The texts I am referring to are a combination of the actual Written Torah (known to some as the Old Testament) and the Oral Torah.

Quick and simplified background and vocabulary lesson: We believe that the Oral Torah was also given to Moses at Mt. Sinai and was orally passed down from generation to generation from Moses to Joshua to the Elders to the Prophets and finally to the Men of the Great Assembly (Beit Din) who, out of necessity and the risk of loosing this valuable information, recorded the oral Torah in the 2nd Century into a 63 Volume document known today as the Mishna. During the generations of oral transmission, the Mishnas were recited as concise, easily memorized sentences that are said to a catchy little tune. Nevertheless, these simple sentences were loaded with meaning. The future generations were not as intelligent and couldn't understand the wisdom in the mishna, in response commentary was added to clarify. The commentary is called the Gamara. The Mishna and the Gamara together are referred to as the Talmud. From the Written Torah and these other texts, we derive the laws regarding Jewish observances. These laws are called Halacha.…….still following?

So back to the matter at hand: These texts are studied today in order to understand the reasons behind the Jewish laws that on the surface may seem silly and impractical. To my surprise, the logic behind these rules are actually quite sensible and relevant in everyday life…and whether or not one agrees with the actual Halacha, it's still a fun exercise and springboard for discussion and debate.

With all the background information, let us have a little Talmud class. The topic at hand is Who is obligated to fast during Yom Kuppur…the Jewish holiday coming up next week. I'll do the hard part for you and translate the sentence from Hebrew to English (no worries, it was only the most painful thing I've ever done since it's a combination of ancient Hebrew and an extinct language called Aramaic). When reading the question below, try to derive some type of meaning out of it. The key word is “try”

"If a person is bitten by a rapid dog, can you feed the victim the dog’s liver"

From first glance, I thought to myself…wtf, this is disgusting and dogs aren't even Kosher. Maybe I translated this wrong? But then after reading through the sources, I learned that back in the day, it was common practice that if someone was bitten by a rapid dog, eating the liver of the dog was thought to cure the rabies. This method was very similar to homeopathy's philosophy of treating like with like. So how is this relevant to fasting on Yom Kippur and how is this relevant today when we have something called a rabies shot?

We know that on Yom Kippur we fast; however if a person is sick they are allowed to eat. So the question derived from the above is actually:
“Are you allowed to break the fast in order to treat an illness with a medical remedy that is not proven?” In other words: Is alternative medicine, although not clinically proven, allowed to be administered if a person’s life is at jeopardy if it means breaking the rules of the fast? Although not so intuitive, from this sentence we derive the entire debate about the use of alternative medicines in the Jewish world. This piece of Talmud is cited both for and against the use of clinical cancer treatments, homeopathic medicine, acupuncture and more. The debate still reigns.

If you actually read this entire blog entry, and I am not sure if it was even coherent, you probably want to know the answer to the question of whether or not one can eat the liver of a rapid dog during the fast of Yom Kippur. However I forgot to mention your last vocabulary word of the day: machlochus, which means there are two different Rabbinical opinions on the matter and the debate still reigns. And that, my friends, is the beauty of Talmud. Yes, the laws are important, but what’s most important (at least in my opinion) is the act of engaging in study, exercising the mind, thinking a subject through, making arguments for your case, and taking a stance on a subject because, through your own cognition, you find something to be true.

This may have been confusing and completely uninteresting, but I just wanted to give you a little sample the learning I am doing and introduce the logic behind Talmudic rational. I really like this, I find it fascinating and riveting. I am going to stick it out, heck, I hear it even starts to get easier. Fortunately, my studies are nicely balanced between this type of learning, which connects to my intellect, and another type that feeds my spirituality, connecting to my heart. That’s the really good stuff, that’s the coat your soul with honey and scream Hallelujah stuff, but that is for another day.


* For the Talmudic scholars who receive this blog, please don't flinch at all the information I left out. I am merely trying to paint a broad picture, however I encourage you to supplement with comments.

Genesis: At the Beginning....

First, apologies for falling off the face of the earth for the past 2 months, I literally did exactly that. The trip, as I expected, didn’t happen the way I expected. However it happened exactly the way it was supposed to happen. It was so much fun and I learned a lot about myself, the world, and Pamela (one of the most inspirational women I’ve ever met). The Mediterranean is beautiful, Italian food is delicious, but the novelty of wandering around with all your belongings on your back wears off and wears you out quickly. By the time I arrived in Israel, banging on the gate of my school at 6:00 in the morning, I was broke, dirty, and exhausted.

Although the residue of my trip remains (I am still pealing from the sunburn I got on the sandy beaches on the coast of Valencia and whip lashed from riding a motorcycle through the maze-like alleys in the medieval city of Genoa), I have only a few minutes to share with you and I am so excited about my present situation in life that I will resist bringing you up to speed on my past wanderings, and start from where I
am right now! Please don’t feel gypped that I am withholding all the juicy details of my trip in Europe, I promise I will divulge when I have more time, but I want to talk about Israel.

After 2 years of setting my sights on this, working hard to save my money, and taking the longest travel route…I am finally where I want to be, the Land of Israel. I can hardly believe I am here. My state of mind can only be described as teetering between a state of complete tranquility and sublime ecstasy. I once met someone claiming to be the luckiest person in the world, but I beg to differ, I think it’s me. I arrived at my program on Thursday, September 18 with a reception fit for royalty. That is how everyone at this program is, completely open, welcoming and liberal with their love and affection. Immediately I had thirty new best friends that completely blow my mind with their journeys, insights, and spirituality. The women I am learning with come from all over the world, Florida, Alabama, London, Australia, Colombia, South Africa, etc. and all different stations in life.

1 Day in Israel was really special. It was Chai Elul on the Jewish calendar, which is actually a holiday. Not only is it my Hebrew birthday (a holiday in itself) it’s also the Birthday of two of the greatest Chassidic luminaries. The night was celebrated with a party called a Febregain, which is an amazing invention consisting of singing really loudly, pounding on tables, drinking vodka, eating hummus and cake, and telling stories that rival any New York Times bestseller.

Day 2 was also exceptional. It was Shabbos and spent in the beautiful hills of Jerusalem.

Day 3, as if the previous could be outdone, was spent sitting at the Kotel, Western Wall and wandering through my new hood, the Old City.

Day 4...I should really refrain from recounting the story of creation but lets just say there's been a lot of light, vegitation, animals...and it was all very good.

More about my program: long story short, my classes are really intense. Short story long, I’ve never stretched my mind to such lengths, felt so inspired, felt so awed, felt so intimidated by the breadth of information that lay before me. Every bit I learn unlocks the doors to hundreds of more ideas. I feel infinite and miniscule simultaneously. I am daunted by how much wisdom there is, but at the same time, it’s thrilling to be challenged intellectually and esoterically and to experience the richness of my heritage. I want to share it with you, but find myself limited by my small comprehension of these huge ideas and even more limited by my inability to articulate it clearly and relevantly to you. My mind has been blown open. From here on out, I will do my best give you a glimpse into the world I have just entered…which is completely foreign and different than anything I have ever done. I am in a place I have never been, doing things I have never done, yet it feels so natural as if my essence knew this all along.

Since I don’t even know where to begin, and there is only 1 computer that all 30 women on this program share, I’ll let this blog post serve as both an update letting you know I’m alive (I mean that in many senses of the word) and as the initiation of a dialogue that I intend on carrying out with you, my friends and family, throughout the next year of my journey.

Thank you for being in my life. The love and faith you’ve shared is what propels me forward.

The Pilgrimage

Before arriving in Israel I will be traveling through Europe with my friend and confidante, Mademoiselle Pamela Contreras. This trip, the pregame, will be filled with exploration and Jenna attempting something new, spontaneity. All too often I get caught up in over planning. I’ve had short term plans, long term plans, 5 year plans, immediate future plans, professional plans, and life plans..all of which never came into fruition. So this trip I am trying very hard to avoid getting caught up in planning versus just going with the flow and being open to the random experiences that were destined to happen. I once heard a Yiddish expression that man plans and G-d laughs. And so it is.

Pamela and I are leaving from JFK on August 25, 2008 and flying to our first destination, Madrid, España. From there we will go south and explore Andalucía. I look forward to seeing the Jewish Quarter in Cordoba where stands a statue dedicated to Maimonides, one of the most influential Jewish philosophers of all times (he’s even regarded in both Christian and Moslem communities as a revolutionary thinker) and to see the old Synagogue, one of the last 3 remaining in Spain. From there we will hit up Seville, Granada, potentially take a ferry to Morocco and then travel up the coast to Barcelona, perhaps stopping in Valencia on the way to sun bathe. From Barcelona we fly to Pisa, Italia. Besides Florence and Cinque Terra, we are leaving our travels flexible (any advice/must-do, see, eat suggestions are welcome). Our Mediterranean tour will continue as we take a ferry to Greece where we are still undecided about which Islands to visit, although Santori is for sure. And finally after gallivanting and partaking in much narishkeit, Pamela and I will say our farewells in Athens and go our separate ways. Pamela will be returning to NYC to open her very own store, which I plan on plugging in my blog as more details become available. She and her business/life partner are opening a high-end designer sneaker retail store in the downtown area. Many blessings to them! For myself, I will be completing the last leg of my epic pilgrimage and flying into Tel Aviv, Israel just in time for the High Holy Days. Starting my sojourn in Israel on the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, seemed rather appropriate.

This is a rough map of my travel route.

The Name

The title of my blog could use a little clarification, which I’ll gladly provide. In Judaism, a name is not a random title given at a whim. It is believed that the name of a person or thing is closely related to its essence. When I was born my parents gave me two names, a secular name which most of you refer to me by, Jenna, and a Hebrew name that until recently I pretended didn’t exist. My Hebrew name sounded funny, a slight mispronunciation and my name could be confused for the word given to the space of epidermis existing between two crevices that I will not mention at this time. Besides the awkward pronunciation, my dislike of my Hebrew name stemmed mainly from the fact that I had no idea what it meant. Ganendal, a Yiddish name from the shtetl in Hungary lacking any vowels or hints of the proper pronunciation. When asking my parents about the name, the only information they could provide was that it was after my great grandma Gertrude, still a pretty far leap. I asked Rabbis, researched its etymology, and after exhausting my resources I still hadn’t made any gains on unearthing its meaning.

I took the inability to understand my name very personally. How could I go on in life without knowing my meaning, my purpose, my mission in life (yes, I am quite dramatic at times)? This compounded with being 21, about to graduate from college and having to make some real decisions about my future, made for a very overwhelming time. I felt lost, not knowing my essence or the reason for my existence was eating me alive. I had a lot invested in understanding my Hebrew name, believing it would somehow provide the clarity needed to make the next step.

So the story began unraveling during a philosophical conversation with my cousin Tvi Yoel, where many adventures begin. I explained my frustrations and anxieties about the matter. He responded by writing my name down and looking at it for a while, making very serious and contemplative faces. After some awkward silent minutes featuring me fidgeting about, Harry jumped up, clearly having a eureka moment. “Jenna, you’re name is actually composed of 3 different Hebrew words combined” he said very ominously. I felt as if I was at a doctor’s office about to be given my diagnosis. I was light-headed and nervous, it was kind of surreal. My fate was about to be handed to me on a platter and whether or not I liked it, it was my dinner; I would have to eat and digest it. Harry went on, “Gan, ng, which means garden”. Sigh of relief, for Gan was my favorite work in Hebrew school and used in every sentence I was asked to compose. “Ain, ni, meaning without and Dal, lid, poverty”. Put it all together and it makes “Garden without poverty”. Wow, I was breath taken. Although I had no idea what it meant, it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard.

Garden without Poverty is very heavy name! I am just now tapping into what it means and what I have to do to fulfill my prophecy, something I plan to meditate on this upcoming year. However I am very encouraged by the bit of information I have, it's a solid foundation to build upon. I have my suspicions that my name closely relates to another garden we speak about quite often, Gan Eden (Garden of Eden or Garden of Paradise/Everything). That analysis is another blog entry, another story, that I am no where near understanding. I guess we’ll call this a sneak preview.

The anecdote about my name marks a very pivotal moment in my life and is crucial in understanding the point of this blog entry—why the name of my blog, Fruits of Gani? The word Gani translates into My Garden (adding a hard 'e' to a word makes it possessive in Hebrew). So I named my blog Fruits of my Garden. Although I learned that my garden is not deficient or lacking in anything, I am now tasked with discovering what exactly it does contain. My hope is that during this year in Israel, my travels, and my experiences, I will uncover bits and seeds of insights, fruits that I hope to share with you, through my blog, through our friendship, through our lifetime. But it is not as if I am beginning my travels with a barren garden, all that you’ve taught and showed me are surely present in my now, blossoming and thriving under the sun of inspiration. What a blessing! With love and joy -Gani